😂😂😂 Yes, it’s official………………I’m completely losing my mind!! For anyone out there that is at that stage in your life and you are worrying that you just can’t function………………..don’t fret…………..it’s completely normal. The thing is, it’s the only time in your life when you can do the most stupid stuff, have an excuse, and get away with it! 😆 So embrace it and have fun!
In addition to brain fog, I am getting more and more intolerant of people and am find it increasingly difficult to keep my mouth shut. In a meeting, I would almost always rather sit and listen and add my strategic perspective at an opportune moment, rather than be the centre of attention, I don’t need to hear the sound of my own voice. I most certainly have those times when I’m all ‘peopled out’ and just need my own company for an hour or two. I’m grumpy at this time of year anyway………my hibernation ends late February, and this half term has been so busy. I saw this pie chart the other day and I thought, “That is so me!” I even had to practice my breathing in a meeting last week just to force myself to keep my mouth shut!😆
Except I’m not much of a swearer. My four letter word would probably be “Shit” and even then I’d take 20% off that and reallocate another 10% to “I’m hungry” and another 10% to “What an idiot”.
Sometimes, my mid-life brain fog is so bad it gets a bit frustrating. I do things like go to the shopping centre, come out again, and have no idea where I’ve parked the car……….so I have to walk around pressing the button until the car winks at me with it’s lights. I’ve been to the shop and walked home, forgetting I’ve gone in the car and then had to walk back to get the car! Being a bit of a control freak it used to really get to me when I did stupid things and I would end up in tears……… it was like being on an emotional rollercoaster. If you are the same, then seriously consider hormone patches…………….. they are amazing!!! I’d tried all the homeopathic stuff: yoga, diet, extract of this and that………but nothing seemed to work. Anyway, the doctor convinced me that with the healthy lifestyle I live (I didn’t tell her about the cake🤭) the increased risks were negligible and I should stop battling it and try patches.
Now, I know they don’t work for everyone, but for me they have been transformational. The thing is, the brain fog does not go away, you just don’t give a shit anymore……………..about anything!!!!! 😂😂 Well, anything little that you should not be worrying about. I still give a shit about the important stuff like what’s going on in the world at the moment, be it politics, war, humanitarian and environmental issues, as they still really upset me and make me angry. But all the anxiety about stuff that doesn’t matter has gone, I don’t care who is in control and I am now just crashing about and running my way through the menopause making a complete fool of myself. It’s so much fun.
Normally I can conceal my misdemeanours at work, but not this week! At work I am supposed to be in control and know what I’m doing. I have a quiet little office. I sit in there with my tea trolley, and work on my budgets, numbers and spreadsheets quite happily. I’ve repurposed one of those little vintage tea trolleys and if you need a good cuppa, my office is the place to be, I’m always happy to share. Beverages are lined up left to right as I try to make it through the day. I start on the Azera caffeine first thing in the morning. Mid morning it’s time for Peppermint tea. By lunchtime I’m ready for ‘Radiance’ which is supposed to promote an ‘inner glow’, although I’ve yet to experience one at work! By mid afternoon I’ve lost the will to live so I have a cup of ‘Peace’ containing hemp seed oil as I just try to make it to the end of the day. If it gets really bad I always have the Ferrero chocolates in the dish for emergencies.
Anyway, no-one notices when I do something stupid like look for my glasses when they are on my head; or wonder why my mouse is not moving on the screen when I am clutching and gliding the stapler over the mouse mat. But this was the week I was caught red handed when I went into the general office to access the safe and was caught trying to open the refrigerator with the safe keys.
Anyway, in addition to the patches, other things that really help and I would endorse have been good old fresh air, exercise and diet.
When it comes to fresh air and exercise we all know I like to have a good run. So what have I been up to this month? Well, I have done the Meltham Tough 10k………and tough it was. I went nice and slow though as I have been instructed by my lovely physio that I can only run steadily for a while. I have an issue with my piriformis muscle (never knew I had one until last week!) and my sciatic nerve and it’s causing me much pain down my left leg. So I have to behave, which I am finding quite difficult as I do like to do the opposite of what I’m told.😆Oh well, I guess I got to look around more , enjoy it, and my watch did still say 648 calories worked off which still equated to one huge piece of cake at the end.
January has also seen me having some hair chopped off especially for the marathon in April. My curly hair was driving me crazy. I’ve tried wearing a buff to run, but I just get too hot. I spend entire races pulling it out of my mouth. So I’ve reluctantly had some cut off and I think I hate it! 😢It’s still curly but I just don’t think it’s as pretty and feminine, and someone even said I look mischievous, which we all know is not the case! 🤭😂 But for heavens sake it’s only hair it will grow back quickly and it will serve a purpose until April, so I’m not going to get too upset about it! I could really do without having offspring though who just love to make fun of me, and it’s a good job love is unconditional. Not wanting to be torn apart in person I sent them a photo to announce the haircut…………………… get the ridiculing out of the way online I thought………
I braced myself for the reply, which contained no words…………….just this!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seriously!!! Beaker from the Muppets!?! If it were not for the feel good hormones in my patch I could be emotionally destroyed. But I’m going to rise above it and await a suitable time and moment to inflict my revenge!
So, I’ve had to step off the running a bit in January and do a bit more of my second love …………. walking, and I have a lovely walk to share with you. Because let’s face it, at this time of year it’s a bit grim up North, and other than sit still in front of a fire, read and eat cake, the options for entertainment are limited. So I went on a lovely little weekend day trip towards the east coast of Yorkshire, to the little market town of Helmsley, where I did a nice circular walk to Rievaulx Abbey and back. The good thing about this time of year though is I can get my bobble hats back out!
This walk comes well recommended. Helmsley is a lovely old Yorkshire market town with some beautiful shops and cafes, and is a great start and end point for the walk.
I saw the first signs of Spring which always cheers me up! Some beautiful little snowdrops poking their heads up out of the grass. It’s a little too early for the daffodils, which I adore. It was cold, it was damp, but is was oh so pretty and nothing can prepare you for that first dramatic sighting of Rievaulx Abbey……………..it is huge! It is such a peaceful and secluded place, perfect for one of those escapism walks. Don’t expect anything fancy, it’s a ruin in the North York Moors National Park, but its setting is delightful. It was one of the great Cistercian Abbeys in England, seat of Aelred of Rievaulx, until it was seized in 1538 by Henry VIII, who after doing away with all his wives, decided to turn his attentions to monks and close down and confiscate the lands and wealth of all the monasteries in England and Wales in his reformation of the Church.
The abbey is now looked after by English Heritage. There are lots of information boards around the grounds explaining everything from the architecture, to the living conditions and lifestyle of the monks. It really is quite interesting. It is not until you stand underneath the main cloister that you realise just how huge it is, and what a feat it must have been to build it. The drainage is still intact and the ingenuity of the design is evident as you see how the monastery has a network of drainage channels underneath it which are constantly flushed by a diversion from the river. It was very quiet on this particular Sunday in the middle of winter and it had an almost eerie, spooky feel about it. Anyway, if you are ever in the vicinity it’s worth a visit.
Then the best bit of the day! No visit to the east coast is complete without a battered cod and chips, in a good old fashioned pub, with a log fire……..a perfect end to a lovely day.
Talking of food, this is where I need to tell you about my microbiome. This has been a revelation to me, and I have a couple of recipes and some top tips for you. I never knew I had a microbiome inside me! I have been happily cramming anything and everything into my stomach for 52 years as I love food. However, this last year or two I have had a temperamental stomach. It’s worse if I’m stressing about something, and particular foods also cause me discomfort, particularly multi seed bread, broccoli, beans, aubergines………which unfortunately are all things that I love and cannot give up entirely. But like most things in life, it’s all about balance, and this is where the microbiome comes in. The microbiome is a full ecosystem of microbes and bacteria that live inside your gut. We all have one, but I’ve only just discovered mine! 😆Loving science, I am now fascinated by it.
The secret is to balance your microbes or your good and bad bacteria. I have lovely running friend, and she told me about my microbiome and the fact that mine could be lacking in good bacteria and had I tried replacing it by eating fermented food. Yuk, I instantly thought, as someone started rambling on about fermenting cabbage for 10 days in a jar. This is not for me I thought. Anyway, my lovely friend is from Bulgaria, who along with the Greeks are expert yoghurt makers. She assured me that no fermented cabbage was necessary. She said all I needed was a packet of starter bacteria 2 litres of milk and a warm oven. You make one batch of yogurt and then every week you just use a spoonful of your already made yoghurt as your starter culture for the next batch. So along came my packet of Lactobacillus Bulgaricus and Streptococcus Thermophilus (I know, I’m making it sound delicious aren’t I!😂) and I made my first batch of fermented Bulgarian Yoghurt. You simply boil your milk, let it cool a bit, stir in your starter culture, and keep it warm and let if ferment for 8 hours. Well, it is quite simply delicious. I have some every morning with my breakfast and I can honestly say it has had a very positive impact on my tummy. It’s not 100%, but it’s a lot better. I now have a little yoghurt maker which I plug in and leave it in to ferment overnight, but you don’t need one. For the first few months I just turned the oven on before I went to bed. Put my yoghurt in jars, wrapped them in a towel, turned the oven off, put the wrapped jars in the oven without letting too much heat escape from the oven, and when I got up next morning it was ready. Pop it in the fridge and it keeps for a week.
I also bought an excellent book which I can recommend called ‘The Well Fed Microbiome Cookbook’ by Kristina Campbell. Apparently it is full of recipes to renew the body and brain. The body yes, but I refute its claim to renew the brain. As you can see from my antics above it’s not done much for my brain! 😁 But this book has the most amazing homemade granola recipe in. So once a week I make my yoghurt and my granola, and along with my fresh fruit, that’s my breakfast sorted for the week, except for the odd naughty breakfast I sneak in here and there. Because I am taking this impending marathon really seriously, it’s a mental game, and I appreciate now that I’m on my longer runs of 13 miles and over, that it’s also about nutrition. My Christmas excess has already fallen off, and it needs to stay off as I can do without carrying it 26 miles around Paris!
Which brings me onto my last topic for today……………….the ‘skinny’ muffin. The word itself brings me out in a cold sweat! Why, oh why, would anyone on earth want a ‘skinny’ muffin when you can have a real one!?!? I remember the first time I was asked when visiting a friend if I wanted a ‘skinny’ muffin with my cup of tea. Now I’m very polite and grateful so rather than saying what went through my head, “Are you serious, no thanks, I want a real one”, I delightfully accepted. Well last week, once again, I found myself eating my own words as I found a very easy recipe for making some very delicious skinny muffins. All you need is a 225g tin of pineapple, 2 tablespoons of prunes, half a cup of grated carrots, teaspoon of vanilla extract, 50g sultanas or raisins, 2 egg whites, 100g golden caster sugar, half a teaspoon of cinnamon, 1 teaspoon of baking powder and 200g of wholemeal flour. I needed to make them gluten free for a friend so used buckwheat flour instead of wholemeal. Basically you blitz the pineapple and prunes in a food processor or blender then place all the wet and dry ingredients together in a bowl, mixing them so they are all combined. Spoon the mixture into muffin cases and bake at 180C for 20 minutes (200C if you have no fan in your oven) and here is what you get………
They are actually very nice and never again will I make fun of the ‘skinny’ muffin………………..although I’d still prefer a real one!😂However, they are only ‘skinny’ if you have just one, and there is something psychological that kicks in when they are out of the oven and just warm that makes you eat more than one!
So other than losing my mind, rising above the emotional abuse inflicted on me by my children, trying to exercise, look after myself and bake my way to happiness that’s been pretty much it for this very busy January. The rather exciting thing is that I am exactly one week away today from a trip to Spain so I will have lots to tell you about on my return as I cram 4 cities into one week. This time next week I will have arrived, for a whole week!!!!!! I can’t wait………….I am so ready for it……………………….but is Spain ready for me?!?!? Because the rather nice thing is that it is a solo trip ………………….. one whole week with just myself for company to reset and recharge, meet new people, see new things and not eat ‘skinny’ muffins. The worrying bit for my family (my mother in particular) is that if I can’t find my way into the safe at work, or remember where I’ve left the car how on earth am I going to look after myself and negotiate the infrastructure and language in four different Spanish cities. Watch this space and wish me luck………………………….it could be fun. 😆