Happy New Year!
And I do genuinely mean that. Although I have to admit I am to New Year a little bit like the Grinch is to Christmas. For some reason I don’t like it. I have tried so hard to get excited about it but to me it’s just an arbitrary date, the date after 31st December! I’m not so much of a Grinch that I suck the mood out of everyone else. I did put a smile on my face and go up to the packed local pub. It was Karaoke which was enough to put a smile on anyone’s face as it just gets funnier and more painful to listen to the more alcohol is consumed! But at just after midnight, I’m done with it!
I can actually feel quite down about New Year and I don’t know why. I don’t know whether it’s because I get so excited about Christmas and New Year is a bit of an anti-climax; whether it’s because I’m sad because I see it more as an ending to 2022 and all the good things that happened in the previous year; whether it makes me think of people that are no longer with us; or whether I just feel under pressure to do something different and make a new start even though I’m quite happy to continue 1st January just as I ended 31st December. You see, for me every day is 1st January. I like to think I live every day as if it’s my last. I like to look for opportunity, be thankful for what I have, and if I see something aspirational, I’m not likely to wait until 1st January to start my quest to achieve it, I’m a bit more of a ‘doer’ than a ‘going to do’ and I like to live my life like a bit of a magical mystery tour…………I still don’t quite know where I’m going but I hope it’s exciting and full of mystery, love, adventures and surprises.
Today I’ve been fed up and I guess this post is about the fact that it’s ok to be so, and a little bit about the importance of water in my life. I guess I don’t really mean fed up, I think a better term might be ‘over stimulated’, and that might be partly why I don’t like New Year. It’s when I get to that point when I need to be on my own. I think I get so excited about Christmas and do so much stuff, then there are all the demands from the students at home that you thought you’d got rid of, then I’ve worked for two days to try and keep on top of everything at work, then I’ve been running training and racing and then along comes New Year. There’s only so much any girl can take! By 1st January I’ve had enough! Today I’ve escaped and I’m going to share with you where I’ve been, some very inspirational words from a wonderful author, and something you might like to try when you’ve ‘had enough’.
So, first things first. It’s ok to have had enough and want to be on your own. Those close to me know I’m ok, there’s nothing wrong with me, I just need some space to think, reflect, be thankful, and reset. I’m not depressed, I’m not sad, I just want to be alone with that fantastic person I discovered on my Camino………me! And today I’ve had some quiet, calm, peaceful, reflective time, been thankful for everything I have, thought about all the lovely people in my life (you know who you are) and now I feel so much better. So where have I been………..up on the windy, wet moors wild swimming of course!
It’s been a bit of a cold wet one today. Not much sunshine yet again but there is something magical and healing about water that I want to share with you. Today I’ve been to this lovely remote spot. The water temperature was 18 degrees today so very fresh on entry but lovely once you are in and moving around.
About that author, his name is Roger Deakin. Sadly, no longer with us, Roger was an English writer, film maker and environmentalist. The only one of his books published in his lifetime ‘Waterlog’ founded the wild swimming movement. He lived at Walnut Tree farm in Suffolk, his own little wild swimming paradise. In a couple of his most poignant quotes, for me he perfectly sums up the power of water over the human mind and spirit. Here are some of my favourites of his and a few pictures from today. The quotes may explain why I do what some might think is a bit of a mad thing to do on New Year’s Day.
“I can dive in with a long face, and what feels like a terminal case of depression, and come out a whistling idiot. There is a feeling of absolute freedom and wildness that comes with the sheer liberation of nakedness as well as weightlessness in natural water, and it leads to a deep bond with the bathing place”. – from Roger Deakin, Waterlog.
Now I can’t speak for the nakedness! Roger was a Speedos at the most kind of guy but at 18 degrees I’m a full wetsuit type of girl, including shoes, gloves……and yes, the bobble hat stays on! But certainly, the weightlessness and freedom were felt and I do always come out a lot calmer and happier than when I went in. The nakedness will have to wait for summer, I’ll let you know then!
“When you swim, you feel your body for what it mostly is – water – and it begins to move with the water around it. No wonder we feel such sympathy for beached whales; we are beached ourselves at birth. To swim is to experience how it was before we were born” – from Roger Deakin, Waterlog.
A bit of an odd comparison? The definition of beaching is when something is stranded on land and the outcome can often be death from dehydration, collapsing under own weight or drowning. Perhaps not that odd then, because in life you can sometimes feel a little bit stranded, drowning under the weight of everything and I guess that weightlessness of being in water does make it all feel better for a while. There is something soothing about it and perhaps that floating about in water all those years ago in the womb is still somewhere in the subconscious and gives rise to that comforting feeling.
“Swimming is a rite of passage, a crossing of boundaries: the line of the shore, the bank of the river, the edge of the pool, the surface itself. When you enter the water, something like metamorphosis happens. Leaving behind the land, you go through the looking-glass surface and enter a new world, in which survival, not ambition or desire, is the dominant aim.” – from Roger Deakin, Waterlog.
So very true, for a short space of time it is like being in another world. It’s cold, that all over body tingle and that slowed down breathing and those natural ‘survival’ reactions that make you feel alive, that’s the only aim at that point in time, nothing else.
“Most of us live in a world where more and more things are signposted, labelled, and officially ‘interpreted’. There is something about all this that is turning the reality of things into virtual reality. It is the reason why walking, cycling and swimming will always be subversive activities. They allow us to regain a sense of what is old and wild in these islands, by getting off the beaten track and breaking free of the official version of things”. – from Roger Deakin, Waterlog.
What a very, very wise man. Did he have a crystal ball into the future? Roger died in 2006, that’s 17 years ago this year. Roger thought, 17 years ago, that we were living in a world where more and more things are signposted, labelled and officially ‘interpreted’. Fast forward 17 years and we have a label for almost everything, are told exactly how we should think and to a certain extent have lost some of the freedom of speech that we once had, sometimes for the better, sometimes the worse, I can’t quite decide. But yes, he’s right, all three of those activities offer an escape from reality and the “official version of things” if that’s what you want to call it.
So, in short, today I’ve escaped from reality, experienced that feeling of survival, floated about wild and free and feel a lot better for it. I trudged back to the car across the moor top, past the ancient stone circle where I did a little dance in the middle for good measure to request health and good fortune for you all in 2023. Not sure whether it will work but it warmed me up. Then on to the café for a much-needed bowl off butternut squash and chipotle soup with chive crème fraiche and a coffee. I’m ready to take on what I hope will be the magical mystery tour of 2023 now!
In summary, the message, in addition to Happy New Year, is it’s ok to feel over stimulated and need to escape. And if you are feeling brave you could even try the benefits of cold-water swimming. But just remember: Acclimatise, be safe, wear the right kit, no diving, know your limit and warm up slowly. If you are new to it, you can always go somewhere quite popular amongst wild swimmers as there will always be someone else there. You don’t have to talk to them if you’ve gone to escape. They’ve probably gone for the same reason, just a quick “Hi” will suffice. Try it, you might be surprised.
