In our house I’m used to being the butt of everyone’s jokes and that’s just fine, I am quite capable of laughing at myself and must admit I have done some pretty crazy things since the start of my midlife crisis when my body is getting older but my mind is flatly refusing to accept it and keeps telling me I’m still a spring chicken.
So, I thought I’d save my latest bit of news until Christmas Day, and just as I expected I was mocked and ridiculed. “I can take it!” I thought, “You’ll all be laughing on the other side of your faces on 28th December!”
Back in September I joined a running club as I don’t like running on my own over winter as it’s always dark when I go out. I thought it would also encourage me to keep going over winter when it’s cold and wet. I’m really enjoying it so I thought I’d enter a couple of events for which I needed to join England Athletics. Not a problem I thought, I can do that. Then my e-mail came through to advise me that I’d been enrolled with the role below!
Yes, that’s right……………’Competitive Athlete’.
I thought I’d share this e-mail and news on Christmas morning when I opened my present to myself, a new running top. Now I get that the title is a bit ironic as the two things I am not are ‘competitive’ or an ‘athlete’ but I did expect a little bit more support and less laughing than I got. One could not get any words out for laughing and the other pointed out that I’m nearly 52 and don’t I think I’m “a bit late to the party”. I pointed out the fact that I felt extremely proud and grateful to still be able to make it to the party!
I saved the best bit until last when I told them I’d entered the ‘Ambles Revenge’ on 28th December! “You’ll never get round that!” was the general consensus. However, when the Yorkshire Girl in the middle of a midlife crisis sets her mind to something she’s pretty driven, and laughing and ridiculing me will only make me more determined.
What is ‘Ambles Revenge? Well, as it says above it’s a cross country fell race of just over 8 miles (12.9km) with absolutely loads of uphill, the most unbelievable amount of mud, as it’s been raining for days, and more walls and stiles to jump over than I could count. It’s not an easy race and is over my usual 10k distance that I like. One of the household has run it in the past and pointed out to me that I was really going to struggle, particularly after everything he pointed out I’d eaten and drunk on Christmas Day! I then got even more worried when I went to running club and everyone who I spoke to had the same response, “I ran it once and once was enough, I marshal now!” I was starting to wonder what I’d let myself in for but not wanting to be defeated I thought I’d just turn up, have a nice little trot around and enjoy myself. I had no idea how fast I was going to be able to run it but had a secret little personal target of 1 hour and 30 minutes which I kept to myself.
I got up this morning and was all smiles. I felt good and was actually proud to pull on my team vest for its first race and my first run as a ‘competitive athlete’! 😀
I managed to get a lift in the car to the race headquarters (the local pub) on what was an absolutely foul morning. The sun has not been out all day and it has rained non-stop. Despite being laughed at for three days I was also quite surprised to see two students emerge fully dressed. When I questioned whether or not this was an apparition they both announced that they would not miss an opportunity to come along and cheer me on. Aaaww how sweet I thought, perhaps they are secretly proud, either that or they just want a good laugh at their Mum on a wet and windy morning! I was still smiling when I got to the start line despite spotting the Mountain Rescue vehicle which always puts me on edge at the start of a race as I think ‘please don’t let it be me they have to rescue’.
I always feel so nervous on the start line and I have no idea why, I think it’s just adrenaline. This is very much a run for the running clubs and there are some really fantastic athletes with the winning men’s time usually being well under one hour. I happened to comment on how some of the runners looked ‘gazelle like’, which to me they do; tall, long legs, no fat, just built for speed. So just to build my confidence my cheering on team thought they would liken me to an animal. I’m sure it was just to calm my nerves but it really doesn’t help when I get ‘Lion’, because you have lots of reddish hair and shout a lot, and ‘Sloth’, because that’s how fast you’ll be!! You see, they even carry it on all the way to the start line, this is what I have to put up with!
Anyway, what followed was just over 8 miles of the most difficult race I have ever, ever run. It poured it down with rain non-stop. I lost count of the times I nearly lost my shoes in the mud and while I was running it, I cannot 100% say I enjoyed every minute. I had cow excrement and mud up to my knees and there were moments when I could just have cried. However, there was no way on God’s earth was I giving the cheering on crew something to laugh about, I was under no circumstances not going to finish this race. I was actually quite amazed and could have actually cried when I spotted the cheering on crew at the side of the road shouting ‘come-on Competitive Athlete!’ in two separate places on the course. They had actually driven round the course to offer their support, in addition to being at the start and finish. Anyway a few pictures and snippets from the race. They are in chronological order and I look gradually worse as they progress. I look like I am slowly dying and that’s because I was! So here we go.
Smiling so must be near the beginning or the end!
I can tell you exactly what’s going through my head on the one above as I remember it well. It’s the look of pain. I’m looking up thinking “Shit, when does this end, where is the top of the hill, it just goes on for ever!”
The ‘is this a road or a river’ action shot, just so much water!
Trying to make up some positions going uphill, I like uphill really. Digging in deep despite the growing amount of mud all up the back of my legs.
Nearly at the top on this one and still pushing on.
A little video now of the cheering on crew coming to check if I’m ok. Desperately trying to keep it going uphill and make up some places despite the driving wind and rain for 6 miles. Only about 2 miles to go now!
And finally, the end! I thought it was never going to come. Just look at the time on that clock though!! Damn it!! Where did those 22 seconds come from. Absolutely gutted to not make it in in less than 1 hour 30 minutes but secretly a little bit proud to have finished it at all so I’ll not be too hard on myself. So exhausted I did not even see the cheering on crew stood next to me at the end!
188th overall and 7th out of only 14 V50 females attempting it today, so bang in the middle where I normally am. And, I’m still smiling at the end look. Which on that note, I’d like to say a big thank you to the gentleman that came to find me at the end to tell me, “Love, if there had been a prize for smiling you would have won it hands down! I was on the last marshalling post and you were the only one of the day still smiling when you got to me!” So there you have it. I might not be that hot at running but I get the smiling prize! Thinking about it, I think I’d rather have that than the 22 seconds!
And just to make myself feel a little bit better about the 22 seconds I always like to have a little look at my stats below. So what’s the summary:
So what did I do then. Well, I spent half an hour laid on the shower room floor until someone came to help me get my tights off. I’m now sat with my feet up resting and reading, because everyone has gone out and deserted me and I can’t move. But best of all, I’m calculating which of the Christmas leftovers I can eat that would equate to 977 calories. I reckon I can get at least a turkey sandwich, bowl of trifle, cantuccini and glass of Vin Santo and maybe a slice of chocolate log if I cut it thin. Yum!
So all in all not a bad day for the Sloth! I do actually believe I have two very proud boys, although there is absolutely no way they are going to admit it and tell me to my face!