The Ultra is complete…………………..all 47 miles / 75km of it around lake Windermere with 8530 feet of up and down…………………and it hurt!
But pain teaches what comfort never can!
What is it that T S Elliot said? Something along the lines of, “Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go”.
Lots of people will tell you about their successes and sugar coat it! They’ll skip the part where it all fell apart, when it got tough. This got tough! There were times it was too much for me in training, and I’m not going to gloss over that. I’ve had all sorts of musculoskeletal problems and numerous infections when my immune system has just told me it’s had enough. It would have been easy to pack it all in and say, “I’m not doing this, it’s too hard!” But the thing is, life’s biggest lessons are learnt in those moments.
We learn about ourselves, we learn about our bodies, we learn about consistency and resilience, we learn about fatigue and we learn about pushing through perceived physical limits. Sitting still is comfortable, it’s where you rest, you’ll get the same result, more of the same. Discomfort and pain is where the growth happens………it leads to wisdom and deeper self awareness.
I decided to do this event over a year ago. For me it was not a race. It was an opportunity to learn about myself, to see how far I could push myself, to test myself not physically, but mentally, to get to know myself better and achieve a little bit of self improvement……………to try and be the best version of myself if you like. And I’ve spent an awful lot of time with myself…………………..hours and hours and hours…………..miles and miles and miles………trotting along in my own company. Some runs have been great, nice sunny mornings in glorious Yorkshire………………some have been horrible, through floods, wind, rain and the usual UK winter weather. But the key here has been consistency.
This run could not have been achived however, without a small army of willing helpers. A physio who has worked with me on a regular basis and stuck me back together on quite a few occassions. A personal trainer who has put me through my strength and conditioning training on a weekly basis. This man needs a medal. Firstly………….I hate the gym…………………..it’s the most boring place ever……………..I like to be outside. Secondly…………..if I say I’m not doing something or, “I can’t”, then I’m quite stubborn. Fortunately, he’s about six and a half feet tall, has a booming voice and to be quite blunt………..I dare not refuse to do that next squat, lunge or whatever it is we are doing. I think it was only butterfly sit ups where I really did throw my teddy out of the cot and rolled around on the floor like a petulant child. I was very thankful for his patience and input when it came to the big day!
A big thank you also to my boys…………………..whose mother has been AWOL on so many occasions over the last few months when tea should have been on the table, ironing should have been done etc. etc. In hindsight, it’s probably done them good too……………their cooking and ironing skills have improved no end. 😆
So how did it go?
I arrived up in the Lakes quite late on Friday evening as I had to register on the Friday night and collect my number. The atmosphere was buzzing and I was really looking forward to setting off the next morning.
I stayed at the Queens Head Inn around 15 minutes from the race headquarters and it was lovely. An old English coaching inn with the most comfy bed. However I did not sleep too well. I’d got all my equipment ready, gone through my little pre race routine but only managed around 4 hours sleep.
I was up at 4am and all ready to leave for the race at 5am, in time for the 6am start. I’d decided to go for shorts. The forecast was for intermittent rain, but not cold. I’d rather have wet legs which dry quite quickly than wet fabric clung to my legs which stays wet all day. I felt quite calm as no-one really knew I was running the race, so I did not feel under any pressure, like I did with the marathon where I had told everyone and I’d been sponsored to finish. This race was personal, I did not want any ‘noise’ around it.
Had I got a strategy? Yes……………..I think you always need a plan. But my advice is that that plan should be your plan because only you know you well enough to write that plan. My plan was:-
- Start slow and maintain slow. I knew the slower I went the further I could go before my wheels started falling off.
- Drink enough and take on board plenty of salt…………….I’m a bit of a nightmare for getting cramp!
- Eat something every half hour.
- Stop for as little time as possible at aid stations…………………grab what I need and keep moving.
- Half way round at Troutbeck (where my drop bag was) allow myself up to 45 minutes to eat proper food and change my socks, running vest and take care of personal hygiene.
- NEVER bail at an aid station…………………………….always force myself out of the aid station………….even if I’m on all fours! Because you’re more likely to push forward to the next than turn back.
- And most importantly……………………smile, be thankful, enjoy, and just keep putting one foot in front of the other.
6am prompt and the race commenced. I started towards the back and trotted very slowly for the first 4 miles to the first aid station. I stopped for few minutes, used the toilet, had some salty snacks and carried on. The weather was perfect and the views amazing. I chatted to a few people but preferred to run at my pace.
The first big hill Latterbarrow was summitted and descended without any drama.
It took me two hours and twenty minutes to get to the next aid station at Skelwith Bridge and I had a big decision to make! There was a bottleneck, a half hour queue for food and half hour for the toilet………………….I did not want to waste an hour, I might need it later. I stopped for 4 minutes, took off my pack, did a bit of yoga (cat and cow stretches) on the grass to stretch my back and continued. I had plenty of water, enough to last until the next checkpoint, but I needed a pee! I spotted a wall, off the path and jumped behind it! Now I don’t condone peeing in a public place but a ‘wild pee’ in fell running is the norm. Just don’t use tissue paper and leave it behind. I must be a bit of a feral countryside girl because it always amuses me how stressed certain groups get in the Camino forums about the lack of places to pee. They take all sorts of contraptions and containers in their backpack, cloths, tissues you name it! Totally unnecessary!!! The tip is you just need Vaseline Petroleum Jelly…………a big slick of it right from the back to the front and you are good to go. 😆A pee off the path, a vigorous shake and wiggle of the bottom, no tissue and that’s it. No skin contact and no tissue paper! You see, I’m not all Princess! 😆 That’s how it’s done in fell running……………….no need to overcomplicate it!
Next summit…………..Loughrigg…………….lovely summit, gorgeous views, but energy sapping climb. Time for some Jelly Babies and Percy Pigs before the long trot down into the town of Ambleside.
Then the mother of all climbs……………………Wansfell………………leading to Baystones…………..at 1,597 feet, the highest point on the route. This is where I had my meltdown on the February recce, but fortunately today the summit was clear and I could actually see, over my right shoulder, the tiny white houses down in the village of Troutbeck, where the next aid station and half way elevation point was situated.
A long trot down into Troutbeck, and time for a small break. Three slices of wood fired pizza were consumed, a peanut butter and jam sandwich, some crisps and a cup of tea! I changed my running top and my socks but my shoes were dry and my feet were looking good so I decided to stick with the shoes I had on. Which incidentally were the Nnormal Tomir 2’s.
I was also delighted to hear my name shouted, only to turn around and spot Caroline, from a neighbouring running club at home. She had driven 3 hours up to the Lakes in her campervan to support a friend. It was lovely to have a hug from a familiar face, even if I did get a big telling off for not telling her I was running it beforehand!
21 miles down, 26 to go…………………just a marathon I kept telling myself. My secret primary objective was to get to Troutbeck with time to spare……………….there was a 16:30 cut off and it was 13:30…………………secondary objective was to go so slow enough that my aches and pains, knees, and back in particular, had not become painful. So the first two objectives were ticked off. Pain free and three hours to spare at this point.
It was a steady undulating run then for almost 3 hours to Matson Ground, taking in the peak of Orrest Head. The atmosphere was amazing in the town of Windermere………………….children were high fiving and giving out sweets and there was a carnival atmosphere. I even found an ice cream.
On leaving Matson Ground I calculated I had around 19 miles to go, but my knee had started to niggle. I took some pain relief just to take the edge off it a bit and pressed on, alternating some fast walking with some moderate trotting.
The next few hours passed uneventfully, I ran for a while with a guy from Brighton on the South coast and that took my mind off the ever increasing pain in my left knee.
I left the next aid station at Cote Hill and from then every stile and wall I had to climb felt like a mountain. I kept thinking how lucky I was to be able to do this, how some of those I have lost would love to be here, how I’d never hear the end of it from my boys if I didn’t finish, and how proud I’d be of myself if I did. At the end of the day the pain is only temporary I thought…………but the finish will be for ever.
By the time I got to the summit of Gummers How I was in agony and there was still 12 miles to go. Seven miles to the next aid station and then 5 miles to the end. I started to ‘little chunk’ it as that’s how I deal with it……………..”that’s 2 x 10 kilometres to the end” I thought……………..easy. 😆 I tried to think not of how far I had to go but how far I had come. I gave myself a big pat on the back, told myself how amazing I was and took my final two painkillers. I did not want to run with, or talk to anyone for the next 20 minutes until the pain had eased, I was in my pain cave and just wanted to be alone. I was uncomfortable, I was agitated and I could not focus on having a conversation……………I just needed to focus mentally on coping with my discomfort.
Before long I was entering, in sort of a modified shuffle, the village of Newby Bridge…………………..where a big shout out has to go to a beautiful family who every year from the goodness of their hearts and at their own expense give out ice pops! I stopped to have a chat with the children. They had given out over 500 ice pops by that point and had 400 to go. It restored my faith in the world, such kind people, and I pressed on, unsure whether to eat the ice pop or push it down my calve sleeve next to my knee!😆 I ate it!
I started the almost vertical ascent to Finsthwaite Tower. The medical team were there assisting a gentleman who had collapsed with exhaustion. He was ok, but I felt so sad for him……………..only 7 miles from the end. It reminded me to keep drinking and eating because it’s easy to get carried away so close to the end and just keep pushing on but I was starting to feel a little tired and light headed and all I could think about was going to bed in white sheets and a fluffy duvet.
My stop at Finsthwaite aid station was short. Quick toilet visit, some food, words of encouragement from the wonderful marshals and I set off on my very lonely journey for the last five miles. By now the field of runners was really spread out so I found myself running for periods of time alone. I’m generally fine with that but I knew for the final 5 miles I would be mainly in dense forest and the sun was starting to set. It had been my secret hope to finish without my head torch because I’m scared of the dark.
All my anxiety the previous week had been centred around running through the night on my own. I know I would have, and could have done it, but I did not really want to. It became apparent around 3 miles from the end that my head torch would be required. The forest was dense, the light had gone and I could not see the directional arrows or the tree roots. I turned my headtorch on and trotted on, trying to push from my mind the feeling of being followed by a woodland monster.
I emerged from the forest onto the road and then I knew it was just a 1.5 mile trot to the end. Cars were passing me on the road, tooting their horns and shouting encouragement, telling me I was “nearly there……………just keep going”. I can honestly say it was the longest 1.5 miles of my life. I sprinted over the finish line to the cheers and shouts, spotted Caroline right on the finish line, collected my medal and then burst into tears!😂 It was relief mainly, then happiness, then pain, in that order…………….they were happy tears.
I was wrapped in my down coat and fed my finishers meal, which amazingly I managed to get down.
The Tomir 2 shoes were amazing…………………..not one blister and not one slip, trip or fall in 75km. The first half was run in Injingi toe socks and the second half in Drymax socks as I was expecting more mud.
Did I make any mistakes……………………..yes…………………..I did not apply sunscreen as it did not feel hot. However, as we all know you can still burn through the clouds. A closer examination of my legs on finishing and removing my knee tape revealed a little bit of puffiness and redness, 10 in tact toe nails (nail polish still gleaming😆), and the most spectacular pattern on my knees where the sun had caught my legs around the tape. 😂Lesson learnt…………………apply sunscreen!
The Queens Head beckoned, and after a soak in the bath, the bed that I had been longing for was waiting for me. However, it did not deliver……………….I was in so much pain I slept for one hour from 3am to 4am and then burst into tears at 5:30am. These were tears of tiredness and exhaustion. I just so desperately needed to sleep but just couldn’t because everything hurt so much. The adrenaline had started to leave my body and I was broken. I don’t think I’ve felt like that since having a baby…………….so in need of sleep but not able to.
I hobbled through Sunday and felt a little better once I was mobile. The main focus of the day was proper food ………………… and a Brown Horse Inn Sunday roast beef dinner with Yorkshire pudding, roast potatoes, buttered green beans and cauliflower cheese made me feel better.
This week has been a week of recovery. I’ve been to work but other than that I’ve been still, read, refuelled and just reflected on what I’ve learnt from the occassion. What do I feel………………………..’proud’, I guess. I know how far I can go now………….I think that’s the limit, I’ve proved to myself how tough and resilient I am both physically and mentally, because sometimes I doubt myself. I think my boys are proud of the GMOAT (pronounced gee-moat) too. That stands for ‘Greatest Mother of all Time’ and is their little name for me.😆 How sweet is that! Love them!
Recovery is going to plan but is not over yet! Nothing aches, the pain was temporary, thank goodness. But mentally it’s going to take a while longer. I’m exhausted…………still sleeping a lot, and I spent most of this weekend in tears!😂 I feel very flat and empty and a little bit lost. It’s all quite normal after something like this according to running friends. Apparently it’s an understandable physiological and emotional crash. My brain is readjusting after months of intense stress, I’m experiencing a crash in endorphins and dopamine and all of a sudden my goal has gone!
However, I’m resisting the urge to set another……………..I’m having a goal retirement for a while.😆 So yesterday I did things that make me happy, which incidentally are the simple things in life. All I really need is a good book, a cup of coffee and a garden or park to sit in.
The garden has been neglected so I’ve been out in the sunshine, and weeded my perennial border, which now looks amazing. Beautiful delphiniums and all sorts coming into bloom.
Then I’ve had coffee and read under my wisteria (my favourite plant in my garden).
Then I’ve baked little fruit tart pastries with vanilla chantilly cream inside……………………………..which seeing as I burnt off almost 7,000 calories, I can eat some of them too! 😆
I’m happy to be goalless for a while now……………………other than a Spanish exam I have this next weekend and a pair of curtains I need to make 😆……..they are big enough goals for now!
